


Consistencies

by tetskuroo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, Graduation is coming, Happy Ending, Kenma is upset, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:43:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24465901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetskuroo/pseuds/tetskuroo
Summary: When Kozume Kenma thought back on his seventeen years of life three things stuck out to him as consistent: 1.) video games, 2.) his mom's homemade apple pie, and 3) Kuroo Tetsurou.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 92





	Consistencies

When Kozume Kenma thought back on his seventeen years of life three things stuck out to him as consistent: 1.) video games, 2.) his mom's homemade apple pie, and 3) Kuroo Tetsurou.

He'd always thought about how different his life would be without these things, without a console in his hands or a slice of pie in front of him on his birthday or Kuro by his side, and he decided he never wanted to know what that life was like. 

He'd been playing video games since he was very young, his grandmother buying him a gameboy and a Pokemon game for his birthday one year. Ever since then his parents bought him consoles and all the new games, happy that they boy had a way to distract himself while they were away at work, happy that he wasn't out causing trouble. Losing video games would put a huge damper in his everyday activities - he wasn't sure what he would have done all these years without them.

Losing apple pie would be a little less drastic of a change, but it had grown to be a large part of Kenma's life too. Every holiday and every birthday his mother made apple pie, and Kenma had learned that he just needed to ask very nicely and she'd make it for him once a month, too. It was his favorite thing to eat, and the fact that his mother made it so well just made it taste even better. 

The biggest part of his life - though Kenma would be rather embarrassed to admit it out loud - was Kuroo Tetsurou, and Kenma really couldn't imagine a life without his best friend. 

Kenma had met Kuroo Tetsurou when they were both children (Kuroo eight and Kenma seven) hiding behind their parents respectively, and his life had forever changed then. Kuroo was just as quiet back then as Kenma was, the older boy nervous in his new neighborhood, and though Kuroo didn't say much about it Kenma was sure that something pretty bad had just happened in Kuroo's life. Kuroo didn't really, truly open up until Kenma decided to ask the older boy what he wanted to play and Kuroo came back with a volleyball. 

Though Kenma had been apprehensive at first it was nice to see his new friend finally start to step out of his shell. 

They spent their days playing video games and volleyball, Kuroo working hard to teach Kenma how to pass the ball with him. Though Kenma wasn't good at it Kuroo never seemed down, even when the ball was sent far off course and would land in water nearby, floating away to never be seen again. And Kenma, always stubborn Kenma, had a soft spot when it came to Kuroo. He gave in every time Kuroo asked to play volleyball, and he gave in rather quick when the older boy asked him to accompany him to a real volleyball class. Though Kenma didn't play he still watched video after video with Kuroo, and he even lit up when he saw a particularly sneaky play. 

Thinking back on it Kenma was surprised at what he had let happen. Kenma thought about how he had let Kuroo talk him into becoming a setter so that he could pull of sneaky plays too, and how much time he devoted to volleyball afterwards in order to take their team as far as he could - Kuroo had really shaped his life into something he had never expected it to be. 

So, the thought of losing Kuroo was something he didn't want to experience, but with graduation coming up it seemed like it was inevitable. 

He wasn't sure how to handle it, the feeling of dread inside him as Nationals ended and graduation crept closer and closer. In only a couple months Kuroo was going to be forced to move on in life, and he was going to leave Kenma behind and the younger thought it wasn't fair. Why couldn't he be born the same year as Kuroo, why wasn't he smart enough to be in the same grade as Kuroo, why wasn't Kuroo stupid enough to get held back and be in the same grade as Kenma? And why, why couldn't Kenma just be happy for his best friend? 

Kuroo was going to a nice university on the other side of Tokyo to study in _biochemistry._ Kenma had a smart best friend that was excited to play volleyball in college, that was excited to see where life would take him, that would only be a train ride away from him so _why_ was Kenma so upset? 

He glanced out his bedroom window, his eyes settling on Kuroo's house and he reminded himself that was why. Kuroo wasn't going to be close enough to walk to anymore - he wasn't going to be able to come to Kenma's with ease anymore, no late night visits when Kuroo's insomnia was acting up. Kenma wasn't going to have an easy comfort now when he was having an extremely anxious day, and it was making him mad. Kenma had never been an angry person, he'd never cared enough about anything to let himself get mad, but Kuroo was leaving him behind. 

Kuroo was leaving him behind and he had so much he wanted to tell him. Kenma cuddled into bed and continued playing Animal Crossing - he wasn't going to think about it for the rest of the night, not when he was in debt to a tanuki.

*****

It took him exactly three days to decide he wanted to talk to someone about his feelings, and that's when he found himself standing next to Taketora at the end of practice one day, hoping the words would find their own way out of his mouth. They'd all pointed it out now, how weird practice was without the third years, how different Kenma had been since they'd stopped coming consistently - they still checked in, obviously, but their time was up - but Kenma was never sure what to say about it. He didn't want to expose his anger to the others, especially when it wasn't their fault. 

Taketora seemed to know that Kenma had words to say, standing and waiting for the other to speak. They had a sort of weird friendship, one where they didn't really talk about anything important. They always talked about volleyball and video games, and Taketora always kept an eye out for Kenma, and Kenma always helped Taketora with his homework, but they'd never really talked to each other how Kenma wanted to right now. "Do you think it's gonna be okay?" 

It was a loaded question - Kenma meant it in a way that Taketora would never understand. He wanted to know if he and Kuroo would be okay, wanted to know if his best friend would still remember him, even though he was moving away to meet new, more interesting people. Yeah volleyball would be different but that would be okay. Kenma had met Shouyo and the rest of the Karasuno team, and though they weren't Kuroo they interested him enough that he didn't want to stop playing volleyball, not when he needed to play against them again. 

Taketora, though, answered more thoughtfully than Kenma had expected, and the shorter male scolded himself for always making assumptions of his teammate based on the way he looked. "It's gonna be different, yeah," Taketora started, letting his eyes stare across the gym. A few of their other teammates were still dotting around, passing the ball back and forth with each other. The first year setter was tossing for a Inuoka and Lev, them taking turns spiking and blocking each other.

It was quiet now, without Yaku here to scold Lev on his receives. The court felt empty without Kai on it silently leading the first years in their blocks. It felt like a piece of everything was missing without Kuroo's stupid hair and his tired eyes and his tan arms and his pretty fac-

"But we will be okay." Taketora's words interrupted Kenma's inner monologue, something he was thankful for. "It's gonna be terrible at first, for Shibayama to get comfortable as starting libero and our offense is going to be down without Kai-San and Kuroo-San here to help score points, but you're forgetting the most important part." Taketora smiled wide at Kenma, "we've got you as our brains and me as our brawn, so everything is going to be okay!" 

*****

Though Taketora tried his hardest to help Kenma feel better, he just made it more evident in Kenma's brain that this was _real life_. It wasn't only him it was affecting; next year the team would be down three important members and their spots would be filled like it's no big deal. Nekomata would choose new starters to take their places and everything would move on. 

Again Kenma realized he was letting his emotions get out of hand, allowing his own personal emotions make his sadness manifest into anger at Nekomata, who was literally just doing his job. He focused into his studies, wanting to ace his end of the year tests so he didn't have to worry about studies at all over summer break. 

In all of his confusing emotions he'd started talking to Kuroo less. It wasn't too obvious at first - they were both busy, especially with all of the college prep Kuroo has been having to take care of. Kenma also didn't speak a lot already, only texted back to Kuroo when it called for, and when Kuroo did manage time to come over they both sat in silence and studied. 

After about a week though Kuroo finally called him out. 

He hadn't asked to come over, he never really did when it was that late at night. On nights when Kuroo's insomnia kept him awake longer than he wished he would head over to Kenma's. He used to feel bad for waking his best friend up but as they got older Kenma started staying up later and later to play video games, and now he always was awake when Kuroo came climbing through his window. This night was the same, Kenma engrossed enough in changing his island in Animal Crossing that he barely noticed the window opening until Kuroo was coming through it. 

The third year - _soon to be graduated,_ Kenma reminded himself bitterly - stood tall and smiled at his best friend, and Kenma wondered how he could do that when everything was falling apart around them so quickly. 

"Is this seat taken?" Kuroo asked, gesturing to the spot on the bed next to his best friend. Kenma glanced at Kuroo and then looked back at his game, and that finally wiped the smile off of Kuroo's face. He sat on the bed and stared at Kenma, hoping to telepathically communicate his thoughts.

After a few minutes of Kuroo continuously staring Kenma set his switch down. He stared back and it felt awkward like the two of them never did - they'd always spoke their minds to each other, and Kenma didn't want that to change, especially not when their lives were about to be changed forever. "What's up?" 

"What's up with you?" 

Kenma had lived ten years of his life with Kuroo by his side - he'd always shared all of his thoughts with his best friend, and now wasn't an exception. "How can you be okay?" Kuroo looked surprised, but Kenma was finally letting the feelings overtake him. He'd be embarrassed about it later, after it all blew over. But for now he was sad, for now he was mad, and Kuroo needed to hear about it. "You're the one that pulled me into volleyball, that made me love it, and now I'm supposed to do it without you? I'm supposed to wake up every morning and go to school and practice and pretend like it's not lonely? 

"You're moving on in life, and I'm proud of you, I am. It sucks to think about though because you're gonna be far away and you're going to meet new people and learn new things and somebody else is going to toss for you." Kenma hated himself for sounding so bitter but he was - he was so, _so_ upset. "You're about to go somewhere else, somewhere that I can't follow you even though I've always followed you. What am I supposed to do if I can't follow you?" 

He looked down at his fingers and then out his window, his eyes settling on Kuroo's house. Soon it would just be Kuroo's dad and grandmother there, and then what? He let his voice raise a little louder, felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. "You're not gonna crawl through my window at night anymore when you can't sleep - you'll probably find someone else to comfort you in the middle of the night, and I bet they're going to be great and -" he cut himself off to yell the end - "you're going to forget all about me, Kuro!" 

Kenma didn't have time to think before Kuroo was pulling him into a hug, the first one they'd shared since Nationals. Kenma felt himself calming down, and though he wanted to cry, wanted to sob and push Kuroo away to save himself from the inevitable heartbreak he didn't. He let himself be held, let his best friend rub his back as he finally relaxed for the first time in a week. 

_You won't have this soon. Kuro is going to leave and you're going to be alone and that means no more hugs and no more compan-_

"Calm down, Ken," Kuroo mumbled and it was then Kenma noticed that he had tightened his grasp on his best friend's shirt. He loosened it then but let himself burrow his face into Kuroo's chest. "I know you won't believe me, and it might not quell your anxieties about the situation," Kuroo started, one hand resting on Kenma's back and the other petting the younger boy's hair, "but there is nobody in this world who can replace you.

"Ten years ago when I moved here, all awkward and sad you were my friend, and even if you hated volleyball you pushed yourself to do good, and you've stuck by my side since then. You're always there for me, even when I'm grumpy from not getting sleep, even when I'm stressed from classes, even when Bokuto and I are annoying the hell out of you," they both huffed out a laugh at that. "You will always, always be my person, Kenma. Even when I'm across town it will be okay because we can still video chat and call and text, and I'll be to every game of yours I can make it to, and I know you will do the same for me. 

"I'll come over whenever I get the chance, Kenma, and you can come to the dorms and stay with me too. And next year when you graduate we can live together, happy as can be." Kenma pulled back and let himself stare at Kuroo. Kuroo returned the favor, letting himself smile at his best friend. Not his fake smirk or the smile he used to provoke people - his real smile that he saved just for Kenma and their families. 

Kenma felt himself being overcome with emotion again, but this time positive. "I love you," he said quietly, burrowing back into Kuroo's chest. 

They uttered the words before as they were growing up but they were always meant in a platonic tone. Kenma hoped that Kuroo would understand the difference this time, would understand that Kenma loved Kuroo with his entire heart, as a friend and as something more and it was about time he told him it. Kuroo had always been good at reading Kenma, though, and didn't disappoint this time around. "You're just full of words today, aren't you Kenma?" Kenma didn't reply, just let himself rest further into Kuroo. "I love you too." 

They spent that night together in Kenma's room as they always did, but closer this time. They were holding hands and cuddling, even exchanging light, chaste kisses when Kenma asked because he couldn't get enough of kissing Kuroo. 

When they finally settled down it was with Kuroo's head on Kenma's chest, the younger running his fingers through Kuroo's terrible hair. "Hey Kuroo," he mumbled, and his best friend - boyfriend maybe? - looked up at him with a sleepy smile. Maybe Kuroo would be able to sleep tonight. "How many cats are we going to have at our apartment?" 

Kuroo hummed. "As many as you want." 


End file.
